


And the collision of your kiss that made it so hard

by somsnosa



Category: Donald Trump Fandom, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Star Wars
Genre: BoyxBoy, Crack Fic, Gay Love, Gift Fic, In case you were wondering, Love Triangles, M/M, Memes, My Immortal - Freeform, Unrequited Love, Yaoi, bi!cullen, cullen rutherford is bi, eyes emoji, mcr lyric title, no haterz, this is a parody, unapologetic shitfest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-10-04
Packaged: 2018-06-05 23:34:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6727843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somsnosa/pseuds/somsnosa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>yaoi boyxboy dont liek dont raed!1!!1 (haha hey remember that embarrassing fic you posted on ff.net in 2006-2009? because i sure do.)</p><p>Donald Trump and Cullen Rutherford are falling in love! But when Cullen's ex-lover returns from space, what will keep them from drifting apart? Which man will Cullen choose? Will I ever regret the heinous act of putting this horrible thing out into the world for other people to see?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i'd say i'm sorry, but that would require me feeling actual remorse over this. which i don't. because it's a masterpiece, and so am i. and so is daisy, who also posts fic on here, who i love, and who i wrote this for. i love you, shitface.
> 
> boyxboy yaoi dont like dont read!!!!1! flame revoiws are gonna be used to heat up the sexy gay boys ;) xD
> 
> fuckin enjoy

chapter one

One upob a tiem,.cullen rufortord was walked down teh street and hesaw saw donald Trump -kun

"dona kun!" he is screamed. "gasp!1!"

"You're fired," said Donald Trump sensually. mMmMMm!!! colon checked out Donadl truMps sexi abbs and decided he were juicy,

 

"Hi," culen sed flirtily (hes bisexy!1 xD)

"We need to build a wall." Donald Trump said, just as sensually as before. (hes biscuirois dont flam1! haterz will be deported)

Culen felts his boy thingi get hard but he ignores it becuz he lov donald Kun for  _real_ he will wait to maraige

 

"A a a a wall??" stutter culen "like a-a-a-a-a-a da t-da -da-te ? (boyz who studer r so hawt1 x3)

"ya" say dondle krump

 

AN: fangz 2 diasy for bein the best binch!1!! xD i luurve u!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'll only update if i get 5 god reviouwsz1!1!


	2. When adventures like cars we would ride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chewy wants some of that ramen ass!!!1!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im only updatign becauz i ogot 5 god revoiws!1!!!!1 fangz (geddit) 2 my d8m8 spencer ur the luf of my life babi i luv you!!!!! ur so goffik!!!!! <3

chapter 2

colun scremed as Cyndy Laoper (AN: if u dont kno who she is gtfo!!!1!) came onto the stage and she wiggle to her own beuatiful musik

"AAAAAAAAGH!! xD!" screamed collun!

donal-kun takes Cullen to a cyndi lyndi concert for theyre date1!

"Are you enjoying yoyrself, Cullen," says Dondla trup sensually. "Or would you like to head out to Trump Towers?" (AN: xD hawt!1)

culen shiver with anticiapate for that donald dongle but suddenly chwebacca took off his wig and suddenly cyndi lauper took off her wig and skin and it was....... CHEWBACCA!1!

cullen gasped! it was chewbacca! his ex-luver form the stars! "chwabacca, it hought you wre died!"

"AAAAAAAAA" said chewbacca. hna solo jumped out from backstage and said, "He said, 'I got better'." he roled away and donald waves

"oh....." cullen blsuhed doki doki his husbando had returned!! he was dead but he got beter!1

"chewbacca....." donald glared at his new competiorte for culen hearts..... "ucllen love sme....."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAA" said chewbacca. han sool ju,ped back out and said, "He said, 'He loved me first'." he roled away agian and waved back this time to dolndle

Cullen hel his blyushing fece in his hands.... which man would he chooz??1?!11?1!/?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !1 fangz to everyone who left god recoiwz on my fic!!!1 i'm so fucking sorry for making this a real thing....... but that doesn't mean i'll stop. i won't be able to post for most of the summer, thus i must leave a token for this website to remember me by until then. what better thing to remember me by then this shitfest. cast your votes for which sexy man cullen should do yaoiz with!! ;^)


	3. the return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its garbo.. back from summer...and I'm blessed.t hank you for all the good revieos!!! I appreciate all the great comments guys, it makes it all worthwhile, man. hopefully this series'll be a ride. also! thanks to the person that bumped this fic on tumblr lmao I owe all my success to you, man.
> 
> -bear (garbo)

it was snow and rainy . culen felt the sof caot of  furry on he shulders and was wurm. ".........." he seid.

cellun nevr new dat chwe-baka would be come back is from space! he was pretty shore he wis died. a solo man tear role down his manly check. (AN:  emo boiz r so hawt!!!!)) bbb He couldn't belifef ve that his luvr had returns! hes love him. but....Donald.......

Cullen shivered in da cold chill of the winter skyrim air..... he had a big choice is ahead of him/.

 

 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

"inquozitor., have u ever loved?" culen asked at the war table

the imquisitor scrtatched there neck nervously.,, "yed, but ..." they eye grow read with tears.

"....bitch, what haoppened?" asked colon asadly.

"....I said id give hima cookie..." the inquisitor began to sob. "but then I.... I eated it" they sed gothickly as ther creid tears of gren magkic.

culen gasped shock!1! they had eated da cooky

"gasp" sed Cullen

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

(AN: !!1! this is da kicker!)  dondle kissed culen passively, touching he warm thighs and his boy thingie (An: !!!!11!!!1!!! hawtt !1)  "no!" sed Cullen "we have to is marriagean di.... I am marry chewebaacca"

cdonle gasped "he die tho ! ded men isn't to marry"

colen blinked he eyes in serpentine dondle was rite!1! "damn bitch ur rite"t they did it in the butthole

afer he did he in da bung, dondle blush. "culen I wan ask u summat"

 

"!!!!!!!!"

 

dombo saiz quetly "Have you ever had a dream that you, um, you had, your, you, you could, you’ll do, you, you wants, you, you could do so, you , you’ll do, you could, you, you want, you want them, to do you so much, you could do anything?"

culen sobed and says "donadl yesss !!1!! yaaass bech I wil marru u @@@!"

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;^)


	4. can't find my way home but it's through you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chewbacca is told about the impending wedding...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" saed chewsbacca sorrrowly. "AAAAAAAA"

han solo runs in and transltea"he said "im am sad"" he left quickety,

"AAAAAAA" said chewbacca, noding gothickly.

Han asked, "Why are you sadm, buddi?" asked Hansolo. "Is it cuz ur man is with the nam thats gona maek amurca gr8 again?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" said chewbacca "THE SORROW IS TOO GREAT"

chewbac ran away he wuz cryign

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ mcr rox!11! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

hi my name is cullen stanton rutherford and i have short blond hair that is curled like ramen and eye bags so dark they call me gucci ..... i ahve falen in love with many men because im bisexy!1! xD but the men i luv the most is chewbacca the space hair man from ster war and my fience, dondald trump!!! he will make america great agani..... he makes my heart go okdi doki like in the animes. im in love with him so much and we are gonna be married but i am already married to chewbacca????

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ mcr rOX!11! xD ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

chewbacca was walking outside when he cam eupon his husband cullen who awas his husband. "AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" he said loudly (A/N: that means "Cullen-san?")

cullen gapesd


	5. I can see you awake anytime in my head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cullen and chewbacca have a discussion

cullenn blushed upon seeing his late husband... "chewbacca..."

"cullen.... my love......" (A/N: he is screamin, im tralnslate XD) "you and dodan...."

cullen blsuehed even more, his ramen flowing in da wind... "yea" he sed

"oh" sed chewbacca

behind a bush, han sneezes. awkward silence follows as sakura peatals flow in da wind

"i still...." cullen blushed so tsundere "im still love you.... i always...." cullen shivered and looked at chewbaca from nder he eyelash.... "i always...." he breathed

AND THEN HJE POUNCED XD

they mad th at sweet luvins wirght there !!!

suddenly, dondald showed up from behind han's bush@!!!! "CULLEN RUTHERFORD, YOU MOTHERFUCKER"


End file.
